It's always bugged me that there are certain people, a lot of them in fact, who are nice to me around the holidays and hardly give me the time of day the rest of the year. I've often wondered if they were just fishing for a gift or looking for a holiday way to handle their guilt. Is it something that's learned, automatic or what?
I think the idea of giving gifts is real nice but I have the greatest admiration for those who give when and because they want to and not because they're intimidated to by the season and tradition. The media almost frightens us into rushing to the mall lest the economy goes into the poopers and the country goes bankrupt. It's like our trumped up holiday generosity is holding up the entire world financial market.
There are many people who call me at Christmas time...who send me cards...who won't even return my calls any other time. So if I have to say something to them during the year I write it down and have it handy when they call in December. Their end-of-year niceness actually seems sincere. It's almost like the holiday sweetness is programmed into their genes.
I've even thought I ought to return their phoniness by asking them for some kind of favor...right around Christmas when the rules of etiquette forbid such requests from being turned down. I mean, who could say "NO" to somebody who asks to borrow $50 the day before Christmas? It seems that would be a sure way of getting them to call, perhaps repeatedly, throughout the year if the debt wasn't paid timely.
The media has done a lot to set our minds on giving gifts and seeing friends at Christmas time. But isn't it sad that we need this kind of prodding to do something we surely ought to be doing by our own nature all the time?
A good friend of mine and popular Tampa Bay area radio personality Jack Harris began (and ended) a celebration in 1976 he called "Leon" - that's Noel spelled backwards. He decided it ought to be on June 25 of each year since it was at an equal distance BEFORE and AFTER December 25. He actually played Christmas carols on his program. His several listeners dropped to ZERO quickly and by the middle of his shift he had given up the idea, taken off his winter coat and went back to playing "Bridge over Troubled Waters."
What Jack didn't know at the time was that the Christmas spirit ONLY takes place during a few weeks in December, by genetic mandate. People so inclined will resist being nice and thinking about giving any other time of year no matter what the day, Christmas Carols or any other reminder be damned.
I'm willing to go along with all of this. But I'd like for all of us to be totally honest about it. Let's accept reality but also tell the truth. Christmas is a time for giving because a whole lot of us don't feel like being forced to part with our riches any other time of year. The holiday season is a time for goodwill towards men because there are so many people we don't like it just takes too much energy to be kind and generous all year 'round. To be fair, there are a LOT of extraordinarilly giving people who are that way all the time.
It's also a time we don't have to remember we are the most obese nation in the world and a third of us will die prematurely from abdominal fat. Dieting during the holidays is like driving the wrong way on the expressway. It just isn't done. The holidays have become a boon for the multibillion dollar diet industry which begins cashing in right after the department stores close their books on the Yule season.
If I have to be nice all the time because Santa is watching and making a list of my misbehaviour I'm just going to count on Santa feeling guilty about leaving me out on December 25 even though I've been an asshole the previous eleven months.
While I'm at it, I'd also like to ask Santa to look into his reindeer situation. I mean he's got a LOT of those animals that pull his sleigh who are certified hypocrites. They had totally nothing to do with Rudolph, wouldn't even give him the time of day, until one foggy Christmas eve Santa asked him to guide the sleigh. Yeah, right. THEN all the reindeer loved him. Hell, how much more fake can you get than that?
I think the idea of giving gifts is real nice but I have the greatest admiration for those who give when and because they want to and not because they're intimidated to by the season and tradition. The media almost frightens us into rushing to the mall lest the economy goes into the poopers and the country goes bankrupt. It's like our trumped up holiday generosity is holding up the entire world financial market.
There are many people who call me at Christmas time...who send me cards...who won't even return my calls any other time. So if I have to say something to them during the year I write it down and have it handy when they call in December. Their end-of-year niceness actually seems sincere. It's almost like the holiday sweetness is programmed into their genes.
I've even thought I ought to return their phoniness by asking them for some kind of favor...right around Christmas when the rules of etiquette forbid such requests from being turned down. I mean, who could say "NO" to somebody who asks to borrow $50 the day before Christmas? It seems that would be a sure way of getting them to call, perhaps repeatedly, throughout the year if the debt wasn't paid timely.
The media has done a lot to set our minds on giving gifts and seeing friends at Christmas time. But isn't it sad that we need this kind of prodding to do something we surely ought to be doing by our own nature all the time?
A good friend of mine and popular Tampa Bay area radio personality Jack Harris began (and ended) a celebration in 1976 he called "Leon" - that's Noel spelled backwards. He decided it ought to be on June 25 of each year since it was at an equal distance BEFORE and AFTER December 25. He actually played Christmas carols on his program. His several listeners dropped to ZERO quickly and by the middle of his shift he had given up the idea, taken off his winter coat and went back to playing "Bridge over Troubled Waters."
What Jack didn't know at the time was that the Christmas spirit ONLY takes place during a few weeks in December, by genetic mandate. People so inclined will resist being nice and thinking about giving any other time of year no matter what the day, Christmas Carols or any other reminder be damned.
I'm willing to go along with all of this. But I'd like for all of us to be totally honest about it. Let's accept reality but also tell the truth. Christmas is a time for giving because a whole lot of us don't feel like being forced to part with our riches any other time of year. The holiday season is a time for goodwill towards men because there are so many people we don't like it just takes too much energy to be kind and generous all year 'round. To be fair, there are a LOT of extraordinarilly giving people who are that way all the time.
It's also a time we don't have to remember we are the most obese nation in the world and a third of us will die prematurely from abdominal fat. Dieting during the holidays is like driving the wrong way on the expressway. It just isn't done. The holidays have become a boon for the multibillion dollar diet industry which begins cashing in right after the department stores close their books on the Yule season.
If I have to be nice all the time because Santa is watching and making a list of my misbehaviour I'm just going to count on Santa feeling guilty about leaving me out on December 25 even though I've been an asshole the previous eleven months.
While I'm at it, I'd also like to ask Santa to look into his reindeer situation. I mean he's got a LOT of those animals that pull his sleigh who are certified hypocrites. They had totally nothing to do with Rudolph, wouldn't even give him the time of day, until one foggy Christmas eve Santa asked him to guide the sleigh. Yeah, right. THEN all the reindeer loved him. Hell, how much more fake can you get than that?
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